Oppositional Defiance and Children

Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODD Symptoms

Children who suffer through oppositional defiance do actually possess angel wings but it can seem like they disappear all too quickly when it comes to you making a request of them. It could be something as simple as asking them to put on their shoes, get dressed, or sit up for breakfast. Simple requests that end up with massive overreactions; and not the responses a parent or care giver would hope for. Keep in mind that adults can also suffer from oppositional defiance although this would often just be labeled as grouchy or moody.

Oppositional Defiance Disorder or, as it is often called, ODD can be extremely stressful for a family. The poor people that suffer from oppositional defiance are not exactly  very happy either. I know what it is like to go through living with oppositional defiance because one of my children suffered through oppositional defiance for a few young years of his life due to his food problems.

As much as it might seem that the child suffering from oppositional defiance is doing it on purpose, this is not the case. This is not attention seeking behavior and most times, oppositional defiance is a condition that rules them so they feel out of control of their emotions.

To put this into perspective, imagine that you have just had a fight with someone and you are feeling angry. You feel like that emotion is ruling you at that moment; and emotions can be linked to the flight or fright response within all of us. As adults we have the ability to calm ourselves using certain techniques. Children do not have the life experience that we have to apply calming techniques and even so, many adults have not mastered this skill. So, keep this in mind when dealing especially with children suffering from oppositional defiance. For them, it is like flicking a switch and they can feel out of control for as long as 1 hour at a time. Oppositional defiance can roll into one like a snowball. It can start with a negative  response and then continue for each and every request you make after that.

According to Sue Dengate’s book Fed Up: Understanding How Food Affects Your Child and What You Can Do About it some of the symptoms of oppositional defiance are:

• Uncooperative
• Argumentative
• Grouchy or easily annoyed
• Overreactions
• Temper tantrums
• Constantly saying “no” to everything or anything
• Emotional outbursts
• Breaks rules
• Blames others
• Deliberately annoys others
• Angry
• Spiteful
• Resentful
• Defiant

Suffering through oppositional defiance could mean experiencing one or all of the above symptoms. As you can see, it is extremely unpleasant for all involved.

Oppositional Defiance Disorder – a solution

My personal opinion is that you can help children that are suffering through oppositional defiance disorder and adults can take this same approach. To remove those feelings that accompany oppositional defiance would be a huge relief for any person and especially a child. I know from experience that it was awful to watch my son in a state of almost constant oppositional defiance amongst other things. I used to worry that he would not have enough memories of being happy as a toddler and that was enough to prompt me to do something about his oppositional defiance.

The steps I took meant firstly, identifying that my son suffered from food intolerance symptoms and then conducting a food elimination diet. What this did was help me find out to what extent salicylates and amines where the cause of his food intolerance symptoms and thereby causing oppositional defiance and other behavior.

The result of the food elimination diet was that my son was very sensitive to amines. One good dose of amines and we had a world household war on our hands. Salicylates did cause a different reaction and when you conduct a food elimination diet you will be testing for both amines and salicylates.

Many people think that it is only food colors, food preservatives and food additives that set off a child so when they remove these from their diet and see very little change, they then start to wonder if their child is just ‘like that’. Understanding the impact of naturally occurring chemicals in foods can bring about massive change for anyone that suffers from food intolerance symptoms.

Once you have worked out which naturally occurring chemicals and food colors or additives are a problem, you can then restrict the diet until you can help heal the body. For those suffering from food intolerance symptoms, you might want to have a read of one of my earlier posts here as this will assist you with understanding problems surrounding food intolerance symptoms and how to deal with them.

Keep in mind that it is also a good idea to have some handy positive parenting tips to handle children’s behavior during this difficult time. How you handle this can impact their self-esteem and their later years. It can be difficult to focus on a positive outcome for a child that suffers from oppositional defiance because the reaction seems non-stop. So, while you are in the investigative and healing phase it is a good idea to have some techniques up your sleeve to manage this time. Check out this fantastic book (if in Australia) or  Children are People Too: A Parent’s Guide to Young Children’s Behaviour (for other locations), as it will greatly assist you during this time.

If you have found something that has worked for you or your child then feel free to share it in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you!

Disclaimer:

I’m no medical expert and information contained on this blog is written through my own experience. Please consult an appropriate professional about your situation.